October 6, 2009
The Secret Green Stuff – My Life as a Special Needs Mom
Last week, it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes after the kids got off the bus and entered the school, I got a call from Jon’s teacher. Jon had something “green” in his mouth and wouldn’t let anyone close enough to see, much less dig it out. No, I have no idea what it could have been.
I’m not picking on the teacher, here. I’m glad she called. She’s an experienced teacher. When friends ask who Jon’s teacher is and I tell them “Mrs. M”, they tell me how lucky we are. We have a good relationship, and Jon likes her. She just didn’t know if Jon would freak out if she put her fingers in his mouth to pull out the mysterious substance. I hadn’t started working yet, so I hopped in the car and drove the mile to the school to check it out. Of course, by the time I got there, the green was gone. I expect it must have worked itself out in the “end”.
I only tell this story to illustrate the life of a special needs mom. Honestly, I think nothing of it anymore. I consider myself a “typical” mom, and then once in a while, something like this happens, and I realize that my life is different. A little more labor-intensive, I guess.
What does this mean to my life? I don’t really know, as Jon was my first, so this has always been my life as a mom. My friends noticed well before I did, but many of them were hesitant to mention it when they first saw it. I eventually heard statements such as “You put more effort into parenting than anyone I’ve met,” and “Well, Jon always was a little more “difficult” than the rest of the kids in playgroup.” Neither of these, in the context of the specific conversations, was offensive, but they made me stop and think.
I guess my experiences have given me a different perspective. I secretly laugh when I hear parents stressing about their children’s schedules, how difficult it is to travel with kids, or even their homework. I don’t LOL, partly because that would be extremely rude, but mainly because their reality is different, just different, than mine. Not their fault, certainly not mine.
So this is what I really think about when I get these unexpected calls from school. Do I wish I could have the same worries as the other parents? Honestly, no, I don’t think I do. Not that I want Jon to have autism, of course. It’s just that the autism has taught me not to sweat the small stuff. I guess that’s something.
Christine said,
October 6, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Just some random thoughts here in response to your perspectives…
My firstborn son also has a very experienced teacher called “Mrs. M”!
Love your pun “…in the ‘end’”!
Talking about everyone’s reality being different, I as a mom of two rambunctious boys, sometimes DO laugh right out loud when I hear the mom of my two excellent little neighbor girls complain that they are “SO BAD!” Ugh.
Lastly, I DO very much envy you for having learned how not to sweat the small stuff. Kudos!
asdmommy said,
October 6, 2009 at 7:16 pm
We definitely live a different reality, that’s for sure….
Jane said,
October 7, 2009 at 9:01 am
I agree. With seven kids, the small stuff slides right by.
Talk about your different realities…
Shea's Mom said,
October 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I think we learn to float on the top of our own personal reality. With love for your kids, a parent would do anything.
The kids are loved and happy. We are doing our work, no matter what the work is for each different parent.
XO
Shea's Mom said,
October 9, 2009 at 12:14 am
Hi there,
I have just officially awarded your blog the Lemonade Blog award!
http://coaxingwordsfromshea.blogspot.com/2009/10/lemonade-blog-award.html
The deal is; you get to revel in the glory and post the award on your blog then nominate and award it to 10 other bloggers who you really like.
It was sort of fun and it really made me think about whose blogs I really, REALLY like and want to stay connected with.
So congratulations and pat yourself on the back, cuz I can’t quite reach.
Then go out there and pat a few backs just to keep the karma balanced.
XO
Shelley
aka Shea’s mom
http://coaxingwordsfromshea.blogspot.com/