October 30, 2009
The Convergence (aka Whining Session)
Warning: The entire purpose of this post is to whine so Steve doesn’t have to hear it. If you can’t stomach it, leave now.
It’s one of those great times in life where everything converges on the household. Mostly smallish things, but all at once. It started last week with our annual Fall party. Planned for 40 people outside, but thanks to torrential downpours, only 20 showed up and we moved it inside. The bright side – I know I plan well, because we had exactly half the food left over.
This week – Kate’s first field trip to a petting zoo. Again rained out, but we were ready for it, and I got to console a sad little girl before school. Since I had blocked the day off, I went to volunteer in Jon’s class. Yesterday I had to remember to put Jon’s library book in his backpack. You would think that wouldn’t be difficult, but it’s one of those nice little things my mind blocks out. Then weekly Kindergarten lunch duty, but with Halloween around the corner, the kids were more wild than usual. One kid hit another girl, but since I didn’t see it, I gave them the good old, “Stop with the blame. I understand that he hit you, so now just both of you, keep your hands to yourself.” In reality, I totally believed the girl, but what could I do? Later, a boy was crying because the same kid twisted his arm, so I told the Kindergarten aide my portion of the story. The boy was sent to the Principal’s office. Fun times in Kindergarten.
Today a run to Target, Food Pantry Friday, and two Halloween parties at school and the parade. Keep your fingers crossed for Jon and his feelings about costumes, schedule changes, and commotion. Tomorrow, of course, Halloween.
I’ve survived. As long, of course, as I remember that Monday is Green Day at school and dress the kids appropriately.
Elementary school is much harder than I remember. Whining session over.
October 12, 2009
The Lemonade Stand Blog Award – Just when I’m feeling a little down…
…somebody always manages to pull me out of it, even if I’ve never actually met the person. Last week, as I laid on the couch worrying about money, my family, the moon, and the universe, I checked my email and got a great honor, The Lemonade Stand Blog Award. It came from Shea’s Mom, author of Coaxing Words from Shea, who, in her words, is right now “Telling [Shea's] story because right now he can’t”. I like the “right now” part. Shea’s mom stays positive.
Now, the Award comes with some conditions, conditions I can absolutely live with.
- Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
- Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.
- Link the nominees within your post.
- Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
- Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.
I love this. I just received a mandate to stay positive. What a great way to start the week!
So, with great honor and humility, I would like to present this award to the following bloggers:
thefutureisred Leigh and I met one particularly snarky day on a different site. I was just in the planning stages of JonsRoom, and asked her if she’d like to write content. Thanks to a tight budget, nothing actually came of that. Months later we met again on the same site, which is amazing when you think about it, because on that site all posters are anonymous. Leigh has become a friend and mentor. Check her out – her blog, mainly travel but also her insights on life, are wonderful.
Spectrum Siblings Cale, a college student, has Asperger Syndrome, a brother with autism, and helps care for a few young kids with autism. He writes from experience and observation and thoroughly researches his topics. His blog is informational and helps us explore what special needs kids might be feeling.
Health Care ASAP Linda is a new blogger with a great focus. Even though she’s new, I feel it’s important to get behind healthcare reform NOW. Linda wants to know what YOU think about various issues, and she’s asking on JonsRoom also. Let’s see if we can’t have some actual input in healthcare reform! Oh, and if you want to be REALLY scared for Halloween, check out the replies to Linda’s latest post, The Kindness of Strangers.
Manic Mother Just read it. Her tagline: “Mania, Motherhood, Marriage, and Everything In Between”. Personal struggles, a two year-old who is “a really bad ass & fighting cancer” and great photography. Powerful stuff. Just read it. And you might want to bring some tissues.
Following Faye Faye is a single mother of three young children, medical student, autism mother, and she STILL finds time to blog. Huh. If all that’s not inspirational enough, she also attacks it all with a sense of humor.
Faemom Fae has two small sons and a baby on the way. Her older son is full of great insights and wisdom, that is, for a kid in the primary grades. Funny and sweet. Also check out her other blog, Faemom Crafts for some really good ideas for the kiddos.
Education on the Plate The author of this blog is a special education teacher. Educators are near and dear to my heart. My father, my brother, and several other family members are teachers. Without Kate’s loving and attentive preschool and Kindergarten teachers, she’d still be in her “my-brother-has-autism-so-I-don’t-know-how-to-act-around-typical-kids” shell. And Jon’s teachers? If you’ve read my blog, you’ve seen how I feel about special ed teachers and teachers who take in inclusion students. ‘Nuff said.
Autism is not the Boss PDD-NOS mom Mae is, among other things, a volunteer parent mentor and quiet advocate for people with disabilities. She helps us remember that it’s not impossible to enjoy family life with autism in the mix. My current favorite entries are A mom think tank for autism? and “Don’t Cry Mom. I’m With You.”
Can I Sit With You? Remember Jr. High? Or was I the only kid with social awkwardness? And thinking about my kids living through it, especially Jon, makes me cringe. Can I Sit With You? is a selection of entries that address childhood social anxiety. It’s also a fundraising blog, so click on those ads and contribute to SEPTAR, a PTA for special needs children and their families.
Science-Based Parenting I can’t help it, I like science. Skeptic Dad is a calm voice in a conspiracy theory-based storm. Whether you agree with him or not, it’s a good read.
And there you have it, some of my top reads for the moment. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!
October 6, 2009
The Secret Green Stuff – My Life as a Special Needs Mom
Last week, it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes after the kids got off the bus and entered the school, I got a call from Jon’s teacher. Jon had something “green” in his mouth and wouldn’t let anyone close enough to see, much less dig it out. No, I have no idea what it could have been.
I’m not picking on the teacher, here. I’m glad she called. She’s an experienced teacher. When friends ask who Jon’s teacher is and I tell them “Mrs. M”, they tell me how lucky we are. We have a good relationship, and Jon likes her. She just didn’t know if Jon would freak out if she put her fingers in his mouth to pull out the mysterious substance. I hadn’t started working yet, so I hopped in the car and drove the mile to the school to check it out. Of course, by the time I got there, the green was gone. I expect it must have worked itself out in the “end”.
I only tell this story to illustrate the life of a special needs mom. Honestly, I think nothing of it anymore. I consider myself a “typical” mom, and then once in a while, something like this happens, and I realize that my life is different. A little more labor-intensive, I guess.
What does this mean to my life? I don’t really know, as Jon was my first, so this has always been my life as a mom. My friends noticed well before I did, but many of them were hesitant to mention it when they first saw it. I eventually heard statements such as “You put more effort into parenting than anyone I’ve met,” and “Well, Jon always was a little more “difficult” than the rest of the kids in playgroup.” Neither of these, in the context of the specific conversations, was offensive, but they made me stop and think.
I guess my experiences have given me a different perspective. I secretly laugh when I hear parents stressing about their children’s schedules, how difficult it is to travel with kids, or even their homework. I don’t LOL, partly because that would be extremely rude, but mainly because their reality is different, just different, than mine. Not their fault, certainly not mine.
So this is what I really think about when I get these unexpected calls from school. Do I wish I could have the same worries as the other parents? Honestly, no, I don’t think I do. Not that I want Jon to have autism, of course. It’s just that the autism has taught me not to sweat the small stuff. I guess that’s something.
