September 19, 2009
Soccer and Life
We took Jon and Kate to soccer for the first time today. They’ve played in the backyard before, but never in an organized way. The league was geared to kids with autism.
The league encourages sibling participation, and Kate was excited and ready to go. Jon was excited until we walked around the school to the field and he saw the chaos. Jon stood behind the coach, so I moved him around front for a better view. That was my biggest mistake. Jon stood where he stood for a reason. He could see and copy the coach’s stretches from behind, and he was comfortable there, a little away from the crowd. I moved him for my own reasons, to see him participating in the way that *I* thought was right. Jon got agitated, and when the stretching was over and they started running, he refused.
Eventually I took him to the side to watch. Jon and another girl started kicking a ball around, and they had fun. It wasn’t the fun they were supposed to have, but it was fun. Kate was having a great time. After it was over, we went for a cookie, ran into friends, and the kids ran around for awhile while I had adult conversation. So all in all, it’s been a good day.
Now I think I need to turn this over to you all. Do we go back next week? Even if Jon wants to participate, I’m not sure that he’ll understand the game. And if he doesn’t ever want to join in? If we stay on the sideline and watch, will it make him want to play, or be demoralizing?
How hard do we push our kids, when they can’t tell us what they want? If we hadn’t pushed Jon in school, he’d never be doing so well in inclusion. But how hard do we push? Can we really extrapolate participation in a soccer league to participation in life?
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September 20, 2009 at 4:50 pm
[...] Soccer and Life « Jon’s Mom’s Blog jonsmomblog.com/2009/09/19/soccer-and-life – view page – cached Posted in Autism, Different, Disability, Expectations, Inclusion, Jon, Kate, Participation, Siblings, Soccer, Special Needs at 8:42 pm by jlewicky — From the page [...]
Shea's Mom said,
September 20, 2009 at 7:35 pm
It sounded like he was having fun even though he was just kicking the ball around. Maybe he just needs to get used to it.
Does the team mind if he just hangs and watches for a bit? Probably not. It is all about exposure.
And, if he has fun and sort of gets used to the idea maybe he will want to participate more each time?
the cookie as an afterward treat is not a bad thing to keep up too.
But how about you? Did you have fun? Were the other parents nice? Did you feel isolated? If the time isn’t fun for you then it is hard to push.
Good luck and let us know.
Christine said,
September 23, 2009 at 8:30 am
The league is geared to kids with autism, so I’m sure they don’t mind Jon’s behavior; they probably expect it. Kate loves it so I wouldn’t pull out just yet. The organizer probably has some great ideas for you to help integrate him into playing. They’ve probably seen this before lots of times and have both training and experience as to how best to handle it. Even if not, and they just want to see what your thoughts are on it, I would keep taking him and see if, once he develops familiarity with the scene, he takes part in what is being consistently offered to him. He’ll probably end up loving it in the end! Good luck, let us know what happens!